The Sweater
by xXxAmazingly.BeautifulXxX
Summary: "Now all I have is this old sweater I forgot to give back." -Sam.


**Just a little drabble I thought of. Hope you guys enjoy.**

_The Sweater._

If there was one thing she loved more than life itself, it was the sweater he left behind, unbeknownst to him, that he would potentially end up giving to her. His favorite sweater, the one he wore practically every day, and reluctantly gave to her when she was freezing and had forgotten her own sweater. The one she promised to give back to him later on. She would actually end up never giving it back, but she wished now she could give it back to him. But.. she couldn't. Not now.

She sat back into her couch, breathing in the knockoff brand of whatever cologne it was that he used to wear. She couldn't tell what brand it was. She only knew that he bought it from Target. She was there with him when he bought it, making fun of the name as she read it. Now she couldn't remember the name of it, even though she promised herself she would always taunt him about the name. She picked up her phone, wanting to text him and ask him what the name of it was, but she hesitated, dropping her phone back onto the couch. _Never mind. _All that mattered was that he used to wear it everyday. She could always tell when he was walking towards her, the familiar scent wafting around him as he drew nearer. And it never failed that every time she knew he was close, her heart began to pound.

Even now, thinking about him, was enough for her heart to speed up.

She shook her head, pushing herself off of her newly furnished couch. Her feet led her into the kitchen, pouring herself some soda, and loving the feeling she got every time the fabric of his sweater brushed against her soft skin. She fought back a smile, pushing her lips up against the cup and swigging the beverage down in a few quick gulps. Not wanting to sulk in the living room, she decided to do so in the kitchen, looking over at her radio as she tossed her cup into the sink.

She wiped her mouth with one of the sleeves, instantly flinching as she realized what she had done, slightly becoming irritating. She huffed, stomping over to the radio and turning it on. She immediately wished she hadn't.

_I keep running away _  
_Even from the good things_

She nearly broke her iPod trying to turn the song off, and she dropped to the floor the same as her iPod did, trying desperately not to break down. She didn't even want to look at her iPod, already knowing that the screen was broken; it had landed on its face, and she had heard it hit the ground hard.

She squeezed her eyes tightly together, trying to erase the memory of those song lyrics. She hadn't listened to that song since...well, since...Oh, what did it matter? She just didn't like the song as much as she used to, is all she'll say. Even though that song was the only thing, besides the sweater, that he had left behind for her.

And like she had mentioned before, she wished she could give it back.

And like she knew they would, the memories came flooding back.

_**It was a rainy Sunday morning. Almost twelve o'clock.**_

_**He was driving home..**_

_**They had gotten into a fight , and now they were on the phone. She knew that he shouldn't be on the phone and driving, but she just HAD to get her point across. **_

_**"Sam, okay, S-Sam..LOOK, I'm sorry, alright? I told that girl I had a girlfri...No, n-no, babe. Please stop screaming in my ear.. Samantha!"**_

_**Oooohh, he knew that she didn't like it when he called her Samantha, and that sent her into even more a frenzy, calling him every name in the book. He tried desperately to calm her down, pleading with her to lower her voice, switching his phone to the other side as he tried to make a left turn.**_

Sam was yanked out of her flashback at that point, clutching at the sweater as tight as she could. She hated thinking about what happened next, and she knew it was all her fault, although Carly told her repeatedly that it wasn't. She knew that Ms. Benson blamed her for everything. She didn't blame her either.

_**"Sam. Can we talk when I get-"**_

_**Home.**_

_** He never got to finish that sentence, as an almost deafening sound rang right past Sam's phone speaker and straight into her ear. The mere thought of the noise now sent Sam shivering with the memory. **_

_**She never found out what happened, until she got into her own car and began driving down the street, still on the phone, still calling out Freddie's name. He never answered. She soon discovered why, as she turned a corner, nearly running into the shattered remains of Freddie's old Honda.**_

_**The phone fell from her hand, and she stared straight ahead, already able to hear the police sirens wailing in the distance, knowing they were coming for her Freddie. And yet, she just sat in the car, almost unable to move as her eyes took in the whole scene.**_

_**She guessed he had tried to take the turn while adjusting his phone. His car was flipped onto the driver side, propped up against the street pole he had ran into. He was hanging out of the window, his face hidden and his hand still holding his phone. Sam watched with a broken heart as, almost in slow motion, Freddie's lifeless fingers lost grip of his iPhone, and it fell to it's own potential demise.**_

_**No sooner had the phone hit the ground, the sirens had gotten closer and police cars came skidding around the corner, past her car. Her body was stuck to the seat, still steadily staring at the horror that unfolded before her, until she was gently pulled out of the car and held onto as officers began blocking the scene off.**_

_**She could barely remember being asked questions, and though she couldn't recall any of them at all, she knew that she had told them that he was her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. That was her boyfriend, lying dead right in front of her. It had finally hit her. But still she remained. **_

_**And still to this day, she had no idea how Carly had arrived at the scene so quickly. All she knew was that Carly had gripped onto her, her heaving sobs racking her whole body and her tears dampening Sam's favorite band tee. Sam didn't put her arms around Carly like she should have, and she still regrets it to this day, but at the moment she felt as though she would be forever grounded to this one spot, forever doomed with this bloodied image in her mind.**_

_**Carly pulled away after a while, her eyes puffy and her lip still quivering, and Sam knew that she had said her name, but it was like...She couldn't explain it. She had watched as Carly's lips said her name, but it was as if her ears never heard it. Everything was in an echoed blur, and when Carly's hand wrapped around hers and began leading her towards Freddie, she stumbled blindly behind her.**_

_**Carly dropped to her knees at Freddie's side, who was now lying in a cot, and Sam followed more slowly behind. Her eyes took in everything, her brain trying to process everything at once.**_

_**She wished she could unsee the way her boyfriend looked that day, so helpless and weakened, but she knew there was no way. She wished there could have been a way to save him, maybe if she had gotten to him faster, or had gotten out of the car as soon as she had gotten there, but she also knew it was too late. Freddie was gone.**_

Somehow, during her horrific flashback, Sam's feet had led her back into her living room, her fingers wrapped tightly around her iPod, which, thankfully wasn't cracked all to pieces. At least one thing was still whole. Through her blurry vision she looked around, noticing that she was back on the couch, and she snuggled back into the almost uncomfortable position she was in before she had gotten up. She reached around for her favorite purple earphones and shoved them into her ears, plugging them into the iPod. The iPod he had gotten for her for Christmas. The last Christmas they ever spent together.

Once again, snuggled down as she were, the strong scent coming off of her boyfriend's sweater, she became engulfed in all these memories again. However, they were the happier moments, the happier moments that had came with the song before Freddie's death. With a half-smile on her lips, right before falling into a light sleep, she put the song on replay and turned it up as loud as she could before it hurt her ears, cuddling deeper into her sweater.

_Did I tell you I knew your name?_  
_But it seems I've lost it._  
_Did I tell you it's my own game?_  
_This is not your problem._

**Sorry guys. I just know that I'm not the only one who worries about losing her boyfriend to something tragic like this. I guess this is just my way of coping with the fear. Last year I had a friend lose her boyfriend to a car accident, and I had two friends die to car accidents. I just wish people would stop playing around on their phone while they're driving..**

**Anyway, review please! And thanks for reading, you guys are the best!**

_**Rest in Peace to Taylor, Chelsey, and Shaun. **_


End file.
